After living in Peru for over two years, I arrived home during the first week of December. Leaving my site was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I'm not complaining; I'm just stating the facts. People cried. I cried. My host-brothers actually sobbed. A dozen women and girls accompanied me out of my site on moto-taxis, blowing whistles and horns the entire way. The whistles were a bit much but I appreciated the gesture. Leaving was obviously something I had to do but that didn't make it any easier.
Then I got home and lived for two weeks as an anti-social being, holed up in my parents' house with random forays into society to run errands with my family. Nothing about the U.S. overwhelmed me as much as one might suppose. I expected the shopping malls. I expected the SUVs. I honestly was feeling a bit guilty about not experiencing the typical effects of reverse culture shock. I was starting to feel like maybe I was just forgetting Peru too quickly.
Then, I actually left my house and started interacting with other people. Little did I know that I had just been living in ignorant bliss. Apparently, the vast majority of the privileged U.S. population is living in ignorant bliss of another kind because they don't truly seem to care about anything going on outside of their own lives and certainly nothing going on outside of their own country. Hence, what follows is a bitter parody of the SNL segment "Really?" which, unlike the SNL version, has no intended humour.
Really, you think I want to listen to you talk about how a meal is just so much nicer with a fine, pressed damask napkin?
Really, you're really going to check Facebook on your portable phone machine in the middle of our conversation? Really?
Really, you bought your young children Motorola Droids for Christmas? I don't even know what those are. Really.
You seriously think you need to replace your HUGE television with an even more GINORMOUS television? Really?
You're actually going to talk about yourself for, oh, 3 hours and not even bother to ask how I've been? Well, that REALLY happened.
You really think that the way you live doesn't have implications? Really?! You don't think that just maybe you really aren't entitled to everything you have?
REALLY?!
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
After two years in Peru, I...
...Finally understood a joke about rice preparation and actually thought it was funny.
...Am still constantly baffled by Peruvian medical remedies. Suffering from a wound or perhaps the common cold? Try kerosene. I hear it works wonders.
...Continue to laugh in people's faces at inappropriate moments because I'm positive that they are joking and, go figure, they're not. Case in point: I was recently told by my host-brother, who is 15, that his feet grew so much because he wore sandals and watered his feet. "Just like plants," he said.
...Point out Gringos as if I were not one myself.
...Am completely unfazed by any invasion of my personal space.
...Have kind of, maybe, gotten used to seeing my primary school students at parties.
...See no problem with referring to someone as Chino.
...Still don't understand why many Peruvians are called Chino when they have no characteristics meriting the nickname whatsoever.
...Love chicha.
...Would rather drink about anything other than lukewarm Peruvian beer.
...Feel like my Spanish language level may have advanced from that of a 6 year-old to that of a 6.5 year old.
...Am certain that my English language level digressed.
...Feel like an 8 year-old because I've reverted to wearing clothes that were picked out by my mother and eating whatever my Peruvian host-mother puts in front of me.
...Feel a little sad that I won't see my younger host-brother grow up.
...Am looking forward to being able to eat what I want to eat, when I want to eat it.
...Do not regret not being able to eat what I wanted to eat, when I wanted to eat it for the past two years.
...Am still constantly baffled by Peruvian medical remedies. Suffering from a wound or perhaps the common cold? Try kerosene. I hear it works wonders.
...Continue to laugh in people's faces at inappropriate moments because I'm positive that they are joking and, go figure, they're not. Case in point: I was recently told by my host-brother, who is 15, that his feet grew so much because he wore sandals and watered his feet. "Just like plants," he said.
...Point out Gringos as if I were not one myself.
...Am completely unfazed by any invasion of my personal space.
...Have kind of, maybe, gotten used to seeing my primary school students at parties.
...See no problem with referring to someone as Chino.
...Still don't understand why many Peruvians are called Chino when they have no characteristics meriting the nickname whatsoever.
...Love chicha.
...Would rather drink about anything other than lukewarm Peruvian beer.
...Feel like my Spanish language level may have advanced from that of a 6 year-old to that of a 6.5 year old.
...Am certain that my English language level digressed.
...Feel like an 8 year-old because I've reverted to wearing clothes that were picked out by my mother and eating whatever my Peruvian host-mother puts in front of me.
...Feel a little sad that I won't see my younger host-brother grow up.
...Am looking forward to being able to eat what I want to eat, when I want to eat it.
...Do not regret not being able to eat what I wanted to eat, when I wanted to eat it for the past two years.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
That would be mine.
I've broken/lost 5 pairs of sunglasses while in Peru; hence, with only a month left to go, I decided that it was not worthwhile to replace my current pair which have a cracked frame. Besides obviously being tacky, the lens also randomly pops out, leading to some rather awkward situations. Recently, my lens suddenly popped out just as an elderly man was climbing onto the moto-taxi next to me. My lens landed precisely where he was about to sit down which I realized at the last second. In an attempt to recover the lens my hand shot out and, of course, both the lens and my hand ended up under the man's butt. An alarmed expression which said, "Is that really her hand touching my butt?!" crossed his face before I could explain the situation. Luckily, the lens was unharmed and the man laughed. I popped the lens back into place and we were on our way.
The One and Only
Two years have gone by. The important part of that statement is not that two years have gone by since I arrived but, rather, that two years have passed since the previous volunteer left. Two years after Rob departed he is still beloved by all. Not only do they remember him fondly but he keeps coming back to visit. In May, he visited and happened to show up at an ECO event that I was also attending. Of course, the announcer introduced Rob like this: "And now, lets give a big welcome to ROOBBEERT ELLIOT!!!" He proceeded to introduce me and a random French girl as their "other friends from other countries." I had to laugh. I wasn't actually surprised because I never work with ECO and Rob did, but still, the disparity was kind of ridiculous.
Now, the Peace Corps is going to send another volunteer to Rob's site (I live in a neighboring community). The local rumor is that Robert is actually coming back to live. I suppose they'll be in for a surprise when the new volunteer arrives and looks nothing like Rob.
Ingleesh
In many Latin American countries, certain English words have been absorbed into the local vernacular. Obviously, English words are commonly used for items which have been introduced from abroad, such as technology -- USB=flash, mouse=mouse, laptop=laptop, to click=hacer click. However, other words that have been borrowed seem somewhat random. In Peru, for example, a toilet is called a "water." It is difficult to predict when locals will opt to maintain the English word for a particular object. One time I spent a good 15 minutes trying to buy masking tape to discover that it is called, go figure, cinta masking.
English is also used in some rather unexpected ways, often in advertising or as a status symbol. For example, the other day I encountered an advertisement for the "one-piece legend" toilet. The entire sign was in Spanish except for the words one-piece legend. First of all, what kind of toilet deserves the name one-piece legend. Also, since most Peruvians can't even understand those words, to them it is actually the "a bunch of gibberish" toilet.
Also, some words maintain the proper English pronunciation while others acquire a Spanish twist. Consider the word huachiman, a botched version of watchman which is pronounced watchymon. Or brother, used as slang for friend and pronounced bro-der. For the English speaker, this unpredictable use of English can be confusing. Once, at Starbucks, I tried to order a "moofeen" only to have the girl behind the counter confirm my order of one muffin. Then Susan, confused because at Starbucks muffins were actually called muffins, attempted to order a cookie and received baffled looks because they had no idea what she was talking about. My friend Michelle once called a hostel called Hobo Hideout and, of course, pronounced it in Spanish (Hobo He-dow-te). The receptionist was like, "Um, Hobo Hideout?" As a general rule, it is safe to assume that, when using English in Peru, you, the English speaker, will always be wrong.
- - - - - - -
The other day a Peruvian doctor was practicing her English with Susan and I when she reacted to something Susan said with "Oh baby!" I don't even remember what Susan had said but it certainly didn't merit an "Oh baby!"
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Nicknames
In Peru, a complete stranger can get a person's attention by calling him fat and no one takes offense. First of all, Peruvians are fairly unconcerned with political correctness. Case in point, during the recent soccer match between Paraguay and S. Korea, a Korean man's face flashed up on the screen and my host-dad literally said, "Oh, the Chinos...," and started laughing at the man's face. However, in Peru, it is also commonplace to refer to people by their physical characteristics. General nicknames which describe a particular attribute are used to address both acquaintances and strangers. The following examples are all frequently heard in Peru:
Gordo(a) - fat one
Flaco(a) - skinny one (also used as a term of endearment, regardless of weight)
Chato(a) - shorty
Negro(a) - black person or darker-skinned person
Zambo(a) - curly-haired person
Pelado(a) - person with little hair or buzz-cut
Colorado(a) - light-skinned person
Paisano(a) - light-skinned person from the Sierra
Gringo(a) - white person
Chino(a) - person with Asian characteristics or not
Other names, which are less descriptive, are also used to address people:
Joven - young man
Chibolo - young boy
Niño(a) - child
Amigo(a) - friend; used to address pretty much anyone in casual situations like at the
market or in a restaurant; not used to address professionals or the elderly.
Tio(a) - uncle/aunt; used to respectfully address anyone old enough to be your aunt or uncle.
Hijo(a) - son/daughter; used to talk to someone who is sufficiently younger than you; used
without regard to relationship
Mamita - woman
Seño - short for Señora
Cholo(a) - mestizo; used to refer to anyone, but specifically used among lower classes and
working class.
Pato(a) - slang for friend; used frequently among younger males
Huevon - tool; offensive but used infrequently among males in an inoffensive way
Certain names are acquired with professional status such as:
Profe - teacher
Maestro - master; used to address people of skilled trades like contractors
Licenciado - licensed professionals
Ingeniero - engineers
Of course, general names used to address women must also be included:
Guapa - pretty
Preciosa - precious
Princesa - princess
Reina - queen
Muñeca - doll
Nena - babe
Mamacita - woman
Gordo(a) - fat one
Flaco(a) - skinny one (also used as a term of endearment, regardless of weight)
Chato(a) - shorty
Negro(a) - black person or darker-skinned person
Zambo(a) - curly-haired person
Pelado(a) - person with little hair or buzz-cut
Colorado(a) - light-skinned person
Paisano(a) - light-skinned person from the Sierra
Gringo(a) - white person
Chino(a) - person with Asian characteristics or not
Other names, which are less descriptive, are also used to address people:
Joven - young man
Chibolo - young boy
Niño(a) - child
Amigo(a) - friend; used to address pretty much anyone in casual situations like at the
market or in a restaurant; not used to address professionals or the elderly.
Tio(a) - uncle/aunt; used to respectfully address anyone old enough to be your aunt or uncle.
Hijo(a) - son/daughter; used to talk to someone who is sufficiently younger than you; used
without regard to relationship
Mamita - woman
Seño - short for Señora
Cholo(a) - mestizo; used to refer to anyone, but specifically used among lower classes and
working class.
Pato(a) - slang for friend; used frequently among younger males
Huevon - tool; offensive but used infrequently among males in an inoffensive way
Certain names are acquired with professional status such as:
Profe - teacher
Maestro - master; used to address people of skilled trades like contractors
Licenciado - licensed professionals
Ingeniero - engineers
Of course, general names used to address women must also be included:
Guapa - pretty
Preciosa - precious
Princesa - princess
Reina - queen
Muñeca - doll
Nena - babe
Mamacita - woman
What's Done is Done
While visiting families to check up on their BRAND NEW stoves, I was kind of surprised when one woman hesitatingly informed me that she was not impressed. Our conversation went something like this:
Her: Senorita, excuse me, really don't take offense but, please I don't want you to get mad, but
the stove doesn't work well...I don't know, but it's not good.
Me: I won't get mad. Tell me. I want to know if you really like it or not.
Her: Well, the flame doesn't reach the pot. Don't get mad...
Me: Did you insert the metal slats to control the fire?
Her: Don't worry. Don't get mad, it works now...I broke the "burners" so now I'm using it.
Me: Broke? You broke your stove. Seriously?
So, she took me to see the stove and, indeed, she had smashed out the rims of all three of the "burners" so that she could literally put her pots through the holes and into the fire. She kept insisting that she could use it as is and I explained that, by breaking the stovetop as she had, she had completely defeated the purpose of reducing wood consumption. I did not get mad but I could not hide my disbelief. If she had bothered to insert the metal slats she wouldn't have had a problem. I told her that I could NOT believe that she hadn't bothered to ask me first. Then, as I was in the middle of saying, "After all this work...," I started crying. I told her that I was not mad but really hurt and that nothing could be done to fix it. Then she started crying. She was really embarrassed and she kept telling me not to tell anyone else. Momentarily I thought that maybe it was my fault for not explaining it earlier but, who on earth would do that without consulting someone first? She actually took a hammer to it a matter of days after it was completed. A S/.200 stove.
Her: Senorita, excuse me, really don't take offense but, please I don't want you to get mad, but
the stove doesn't work well...I don't know, but it's not good.
Me: I won't get mad. Tell me. I want to know if you really like it or not.
Her: Well, the flame doesn't reach the pot. Don't get mad...
Me: Did you insert the metal slats to control the fire?
Her: Don't worry. Don't get mad, it works now...I broke the "burners" so now I'm using it.
Me: Broke? You broke your stove. Seriously?
So, she took me to see the stove and, indeed, she had smashed out the rims of all three of the "burners" so that she could literally put her pots through the holes and into the fire. She kept insisting that she could use it as is and I explained that, by breaking the stovetop as she had, she had completely defeated the purpose of reducing wood consumption. I did not get mad but I could not hide my disbelief. If she had bothered to insert the metal slats she wouldn't have had a problem. I told her that I could NOT believe that she hadn't bothered to ask me first. Then, as I was in the middle of saying, "After all this work...," I started crying. I told her that I was not mad but really hurt and that nothing could be done to fix it. Then she started crying. She was really embarrassed and she kept telling me not to tell anyone else. Momentarily I thought that maybe it was my fault for not explaining it earlier but, who on earth would do that without consulting someone first? She actually took a hammer to it a matter of days after it was completed. A S/.200 stove.
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