Typical

I actually took the time to wash an apple before eating it, a precaution I never take. Since I was getting over dysentery, most likely caused by food poisoning, I figured it was worth it. Upon opening my newly bought jar of peanut butter I encountered a swarm of ants. After exterminating most of the ants I walked back over to my bowl of sliced apple and stepped on the rim causing the apple pieces to fly everywhere. In the process I’m sure they picked up some more dysentery causing microbes, but I proceeded to apply peanut butter and eat them anyway.

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The cricket plague refuses to go away. The other night I woke up to crickets dive-bombing my tin roof. The next morning, I killed roughly 200 crickets, all of which were in my room. More continued trickle down from the cracks in the roof. Across Peru the rooms of fellow PCVs have become maniacal torture centers focused soley on the extermination of crickets.

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I lost my wallet the other day, which contained my bank card. I immediately called the Peace Corps office to have them cancel the card. However, a week later when I still hadn’t heard from them I called to check up on the situation to find that, in their words, “A random man called and reported that he had found my wallet in his car. No one contacted you?” Unless I unknowingly propelled my wallet through a car window, this was not feasible. And, I was never contacted by a random man informing me of the whereabouts of my bank card. Needless to say, Peace Corps finally canceled my bank card.

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A fellow volunteer of mine has a crush on one of the municipality workers in her area. She called me the other day to ask if a text message she wanted to send him was okay. It read, “Hubo sol hoy día, ahora soy más oscura.” This translates as, “Today there was sun for a brief moment, now I am dark/shady.” What she wanted to say was, “It was sunny today, now I am tanner.”

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Without fail I always use the word especie (species) when I am trying to say especia (spice). This leads to some awkward sounding conversations… “I like to put a mix of species on my pasta.” Or “These beans must have a different species in them.”